A Love Letter To My Insecureties

I had all intentions to post this on Valentine’s Day, it is about love after all. But between how comfortable my bed was and how not so good of a mood I was in, I decided to push it back a day.

I got this idea after I saw Nathalie Paris post about it on her Snapchat. I thought it was a cool idea but decided to put my own spin on it, like always.

I’m not exactly sure who to title this to because “Dear My Insecurities” sounds lame… I hate talking a loud in classes or in group of people I don’t know well because I more often then not stumble or mix up my words. I’ve learned to turn this into just something to joke about and love that something that happens because my brain works too fast, that I see as stupid, I can turn into a joke and can make people laugh. One time, my ex told me my forehead was big, something that I already knew, but he talked about it to such an extent that I almost broke up with him because of it. I not only don’t care that my forehead is larger than average and am able to both take and make jokes about it because if every feature on my face wasn’t how it is, I wouldn’t be Cora. I had always known my lips were bigger than other kids. I can’t remember anyone picking fun of me when I was really young but I do remember my mom taking a spin on the wolf in Little Red Riding Hood saying “Better to hear you with my dear” and always saying “better to kiss you with my dear.” I never remember experiencing anyone saying anything to me until I was in fourth grade and two girls came up to me (still remember their names and everything) and asking if I had even had surgery on my face. I knew exactly what they were talking about when they asked and for years after that occurrence I sucked my lips in. Now not only have I grown into my features more but people are paying for fuller lips and that definitely has played a roll into my lips being my favor feature of mine. I feel a lot of the stuff I have mentioned has been more of past things. Because I have genuinely learned to love everything about myself after being on a self love quest for about two years now. But there is one thing that I am definitely currently insecure about. I feel everyone has something bad to say about me. I’m insecure about my reputation and rumors. Not to mention anything or anyone directly but people hear everything you say eventually. I’m insecure that this brand that I am making for myself is turning negative. I’m insecure that people take my jokes serious and I feel everyone has this horrible misconception of me.  But in the end, I know me. My friends know me. Not to hype myself up but I’m cool, kind, and caring. And I should never let opinions define me. I’m blessed to be able to love almost everything about myself now. There was a time that I woke up even morning thinking I was the worst person ever and had nothing going for me. I was insecure about my height, weight, looks, style, personality, everything. I thought no one would ever love me. I thought having a boyfriend defined weather I was cool or not. I wouldn’t talk because I thought I was weird. I would dress how everyone else dressed because I wanted to fit in. Until you realize that everything about you in cool, unique and makes you who you are, you’re going to be insecure about something. Start the quest for self love. Dress how you want. Say what you want. But most importantly

Be Happy.

 

 

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