Over the past few months I noticed how easily irritated I had been getting, causing me to cut a lot of people out of my life (the amount of numbers I have blocked recently is wild smh). So I decided to take time to think about this and questioned why my mental health is getting worse all of a sudden.
I’ve realized I have spent to much time relying on other people to make me happy. I just got out of a not-so-great relationship that limited a lot of great things in my life but also left me with a limited amount of trust in people. So I decided I need to fully focus on myself, in order to be the best person I can be.
I’ve decided to start a new part on my blog capturing the adventures I go on creating art as a college student. My awesome roomie and new best friend models and two of her photographer friends came up for the weekend and let me tell you, it was a kick ass thing.
I’ve decided that at the beginning of every month I’m going to make a list of things that made me happy in the previous month. I did something similar on my YouTube channel when I was first starting out except it was my favorites of the month.
I hope doing this will help me remember happy things instead of reflecting on the bad. I also hope that it can help my readers think of happy events in their life too!
1. Celebration of Excellence
Every year at my school a staff member nominates one student for an award. Instead of based on academics or sports this award is for students with character, passion, and drive to do better. My art teacher nominated me and it truly made me happy.
2. My First Check From YouTube
I’ve had a YouTube channel for about two years. I’ve been feeling stuck because I feel like I’m not growing. But this month I received my first check from doing something on YouTube, something I love and am passionate about, and I’m truly happy.
I went to my senior prom. Even though I dislike school events it was fun getting ready and feeling beautiful, and I was truly happy.
4. College Orientation
I got my schedule for my first semester of college, met my roommate and was truly happy and excited.
5. My Boyfriend’s Birthday
My boyfriend turned 20! Unfortunately the day after his birthday he left for deployment but we still had fun. I made him open when letters and he loved them and seeing him happy makes me happy!
In August 2017, I start my journey to college. Money being an obstacle for my family and I, I applied to as many scholarships as I could. One was sent to me about respect, compassion and collaboration and this is what I wrote:
I am the kind of person we cried when it rains because worms get washed into the road. I love and care for not only people, but animals too. I have volunteered with both children with disabilities and animals for many years. During my high school career my love for animals and helping people grew as the years went on.
When I was a junior in high school I went vegan and started volunteering at my local dog shelter. After learning about how animals are bred just to be slaughtered I decided I could no long put money towards such a corrupt industry. I care too much about other living things to cause harm to them. When I stopped eating animal products I realized how much love I had not only for humans, but for all living things. Volunteering at my county dog shelter made me realize how misunderstood many breeds of dogs are, and how all living beings, no matter their reputation, deserve love.
My freshmen year I dropped my Spanish classes and was put in peer collaboration. In peer collaboration you work with your special needs peers a period a day. I was put in copy center, my peers name was Natasha. We made copies for classes together and then delivered them to the classrooms. It made me realize that all people are the same no matter what. I still have contact with her to this day even though she graduated in 2015. The summer going into my sophomore year I volunteered with a local organization called Miracle League. Miracle League gives young adults the opportunity in play softball that is both safe and fun. I was lucky enough to be a buddy to a boy named Matty for two years. I truly learned a lot from both of these opportunities.
All of these experiences have not only made me realize how blessed I am, but also opened my eyes. I see everyone differently now and everything I do is filled with love and compassion. I base my actions on not only myself but for the love of all living things around me. My love for people and animals has grown as I have gotten older and I genuinely hope it never stops growing.